Fun in Bethany

WOW!
Hot Lips AND Hot Blog...
I'm flattered! I must say that I sent my own hot lips pic in not expecting much, but then I got that message from the sizzling ab guy...truth is, I'm not gonna go out and solicit votes. If you read this and you wanna vote for me send a note to
rhspapa@yahoo.com, or go to his page to see who else you may wanna vote for : http://eyedeal.blogspot.com/

OK, so this weekend I went to Oklahoma to see my best friend. (http://caronfire.blogspot.com) you can call her Charlotte. Anyway, have you just looked at someone and wished that you could hang out with them for a while? That's how it is when we hang out. For a couple 38 year olds, we don't do too badly. I was gonna get to Oklahoma Friday evening, but Charlotte got hammered at her Christmas party the night before and stayed out till 530am...she had to sleep before my arrival. I got there about 115 Saturday afternoon. By 330 I had a nose ring and she a nose AND nipple! We were giddy. Laughing...both screaming at how our moms are gonna shit their respective pants...

We ate lunch with her new found romance (I was privy to it's inception two weeks ago, via phone calls in the middle of the night from Vegas) he's adorable and was nervous to meet me. Funny, because from the begining, at least, I like everyone. Poor thing, Char showed him her new piercings before he got out of his truck, and then he had to pull himself together enough to walk into the restaurant...it was fun. She's gaga over him...of course there's more to the story than that, but you can go read her stuff if you really need to know the rest...

We spent a few hours at the mall, which in and of itself, may seem like NBD.
Charlotte and I are the kind of friends who people look twice at. We scratch backs or play with each other's hair, walk arm in arm...she wears tight shirts and has cool, wild hair, and I am laughing outloud all the time. The mall temperature was hovering at 4000 degrees. I had a tank under my jacket, and since it was so hot, I tied the jacket around my waist. Charlotte had a halter tanky thing with no bra on (new nipple piercing) and a sweatshirt...she had her sweatshirt hanging off her shoulders so you could see the tattoos on her shoulders and back. People were noticeably looking at us. As we walked through the crowded mall, heads turned. Men and women. Honestly, I've seen us both look better; it must just have been the "aura" that got their attention...in other areas, though, it was way more---In Bath and Body works, after she rubbed smelly lotion on her shoulder, Charlotte called me over to smell...when I rubbed in the extra that she couldn't see, and sniffed at the same time, the cop in the store almost knocked over a display of spritzy bottles.... At American Eagle, the guy at the register couldn't quit watching...she was playing with my hair and then I scratched her back with the edge of my credit card...poor guy--he almost couldn't ring us up. we don't do it on purpose, I swear! Oh, and the cop re-appeared at JCPenney. I was buying my Dad some t-shirts, and there he was--trying to look inconspicuous..yeah right! maybe he thought we were shoplifters?? In all honesty, I can't think of anyone who has as much fun together as me and Char. Laughing together, crying together...she's the best friend ever. and this weekend was fun. It was girly fun. No alcohol involved. That's not to say we have never had fun drinking...but that's a whole other blogsite..

Yesterday, I went back to the piercing shop. I didn't like where my nose piercing was. He was gonna make me wait, but I told him I had to leave to go back to Texas...The guy took out the original and re-pierced. I have a high threshold for pain, but this hurt like and absolute bitch. Now it's over, and I'm not sure I like where this one is, but there's no way in hell I'm ever removing this fish hook from my nostril. I think it's small enough, and strategically placed enough---hopefully the principal won't see it and make me take it out....(I've been trying to photgraph it for the past 10 minutes and can't seem to get it--when I figure it out, I'll show you) Oh, yeah, Charlotte went ahead and got her other nipple pierced. (I doubt that's something I'll ever do...notice, however, I didn't say never)

I have to go. I have a lunch date today. It's one I've been looking forward to for some time, now...

Santa Baby...

Keeping with the holiday spirit...Santa and I had a short photo session this morning.
It ended with my whispering Christmas wishes into Ole Saint Nick's ear.....




Happy HNT by the way...

24 little hours

here's what a difference a day makes...

I'm pissed off. Two of my friends won't take 3 hours to do something.
And for some reason, I thought I was the only one, but have realized that, in fact, I am not.
(I suspect you're looking for details here, but this'll have to do)

Even though none of the three of these people have said so, the meaning I attach to all of this is that I'm not good enough.
I do this to myself, I know. I can choose to just get off it, and let it go. My choice, however is to be hurt more than pissed, because of some stories I made up about why they won't do it, and how I'll never be number one for anybody.
I have averaged about 4 hours of sleep less than I'm accustomed. I'm certain once I sleep, I'll be able to see things from another perspective.
Until then, quite frankly, I am self doubting and lonesome.
For the record, my little voice is saying you probably think I'm bi-polar or something...

here and now

I know that I have the power to choose my life. I create the context into which my life goes. Some days I KNOW what it is I'm doing, and others, I listen to something else, something I know is not reality, and in those moments I am resigned. If the little voice in my head isn't really me, then who is it really?
Of course we all have it. Yours is talking right now...
"I don't have one of those, really"
"MY voice really IS me"
"huh. I wonder..."
"I've got my little voice in check"
"yeah, that little SOB made me not work out yesterday"
"I wonder who she is"
"I know better than any voice"
...and so on...

More and more, lately, I have walked through a space. Great space. Free space. Abundance. How it feels is like when you're swimming in a lake and you come to a cold spot. As soon as you realize the cold spot exists, you stop and feel it, then you inch your way around, trying to see how far the cold spot extends. Before you know it, you're out of the cold spot, and can't find where it was. And then, you feel around with your foot, trying to find the elusive cold spot again. I don't know about you, but I never seem to find it again. The same is true with that "space," which, to me, is living in the moment. Many don't even realize what living in the moment entails. What it is, is, coming upon life without ANY preconceived notion or biases, enjoying the ability to just "BE." Once we realize how great it is to BE, we feel around, the voice shows up and has us feel around to find the boundaries, and once that happens, the moment is over. Then we spend time trying to get back into the cold spot of that old moment, not realizing that THIS is now the moment. and this. and this. and this. The past was the moment when it happened, and the future never actually arrives. It is going on all the time. We are in it now. The past AND the future is this. right here. right now.

In Command

Is HNT good ole plain fun, or have I, yet again, stretched my boundaries even further? I am a grown woman taking pictures of myself. Naked, I might add. Strategically placing a Nutcracker, so that you can see that I am, in fact, still commando.

I'll bet you didn't know that the commander of my commando has a foot fetish.

I hoped, and prayed the weather would be too dreadful for work today...it's icy here in the Dallas/Ft Worth metroplex...they're calling it a "winter blast". All I know is that I'm home today!

Alright...I have since revisited this post. WHAT WAS I THINKING???!!? I'll leave it up just to prove to myself that I can be fully self-expressed. Was my brain frozen this morning, or what? I can' t believe my ass is on the internet. If I knew how to photoshop I'd figure out some cool thing that all of you do, to do in this instance. You know, I've been in a boat where everyone agrees that we're gonna skinny dip, and then I'm the only one who strips and jumps in...that's a bit how I feel right now.

Some things

I can never watch White Christmas enough.

I have to stay up a little while longer, because I stopped for a taco on the way home, and I swallowed a piece of the shell before it was small enough and it's still stuck in my throat. I hadn't planned on dieing tonight.

Males are horndogs, yes...but I do nothing to stop that...I just feed 'em horndog food (see below)

Commando is very liberating. Like Kurt said, makes me have a smile for no apparent reason. AND there's just something downright sexy about walking around with no panties on...

I made a promise that I would be off the computer for personal use by 10:30am every day-while at work. WTF?!
(that's bad grammar, but I don't care to fix it)

when you are worried, and you can't sleep...count your blessings instead of sheep

So I had absolutely nothing to do Friday night.
I have a profile posted on a personals site, but don't pay anymore, so unless someone gives me their email address, or sees that I am online, and IMs me, I can't really communicate with any prospective Mr Wonderfuls.
I was bored, so I made myself visible and chatted with whoever messaged me.
Now I am no prude. AT ALL. Some guy IMed me and asked me if I liked to be (sic) ate out. Well, no doy, of course I do, but I just don't get what makes it OK to ask. I wasn't mad at the guy, and I asked him. He said he was just curious. He asked me a bunch more questions, and all the while I know he assumed I was gonna show up with something. As far as I know he wasn't writing a thesis or doing a doctoral dissertation...and I get that he would screw anyone, but why would you want someone who you would meet like that? Just as I thought, as soon as I answered a slew of questions to his liking, he asked if he could cum over. (in the dictionary it's not spelled that way, by the way)After a few minutes of wasted time, I said goodbye to cyberromeo.
As I type this, I answer my own question. "Self," I said, "not everyone is where you are. Be in his shoes, and you'll get it." heavy sigh. I don' t like the idea, actually. I'm not into phone sex or cyber anythingfreaky...not that I haven't done either of those things, I'm just not into it. I suppose that's because I'm not involved with anyone, and to do it with strangers, just perpetuates that. Of course it could be a little erotic mysterious...Friday night it was just irritating.

Some other dude invited me for sushi. Another lonely stranger. I knew that wouldn't come to fruition, so that's no big deal.

In my seminar yesterday, there was a visitor from San Diego. Nice looking guy. We looked at each other a few times. You know, the looks that last longer than just glances, but not long enough for anyone else to see--at the break, he didn't talk to me, I didn't approach him, and he left without either of us saying a word to each other.

At lunch, I was walking into Friday's...(I was weraring a Michigan State t-shirt)and a guy who looked like Mick Jagger may have about 25 years ago...except taller and better looking...asked me if I was a Spartan. Heck yeah!!! He went to State, too. Went onto graduate from Cooley..the law school in Lansing, and now he lives here. I always wanted to go to law school. I would have gone to Cooley, but when I graduated, but I didn't want to go to school anymore..of course, now I wish I had. There we were talking...he had no ring. and I said "ok, then, have a great day." and he said, "yeah, you too." I saw him get into a big black Hummer and drive away. (insert whatever you want about compensating and a big vehicle)


Then at about 430 this afternoon, my doorbell rings. It's my neighbor David. Remember how I told you about my broken garage door? Well, he came over and said he had an idea about how to fix it. I just, right this minute, realized that he must think about me other than when we see each other in our driveways, or passing on the street. creepy. He's nice and all, but for some reason I'm not really interested in talking with him. and when i do talk with him, it takes forever. So, we spent a couple hours in my garage trying to get the door back on track. For a minute, I thought I was gonna end up with a totally broken door, and an open garage. A little sticktoitiveness, duct tape and some channel locks, and we got the thing on track, and level...we've still got some more work to do but at least you can't open it from the outside. I also cannot pull my car into the garage...:0(
Anyway, neighbor DavidwithmousywifeAmy, always finds a way to kiss me on the lips. Somehow some way, he just plants one on me. This time, it was a partially open mouthed kiss. Like if I'd just hung in a split second longer, tongue would have surfaced. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???
Im just shaking my head.

I know none of this means anything.
I still don't have a Christmas tree.

...and you'll fall asleep--counting your blessings~
(thank you Iriving Berlin and White Christmas)

P.S.
In honor of amarilloroad http://amarilloroad.blogspot.com/
I am and will continue to be commando for the duration of the week...maybe longer~